照抄滿分文書！美國(guó)頂尖名校公布2022錄取學(xué)生優(yōu)秀文書,！

一份精彩的文書,，在一定程度上會(huì)補(bǔ)齊你在標(biāo)化成績(jī)的短板。滿分文書究竟長(zhǎng)啥樣,？美國(guó)頂尖名校公布2022錄取學(xué)生優(yōu)秀文書,，快來(lái)抄作業(yè)啦！

美國(guó)熱門申請(qǐng)?jiān)盒s傾向,！

哈佛大學(xué)——開頭很重要

每年申請(qǐng)季過(guò)后,，哈佛大學(xué)都會(huì)在自己的校報(bào)網(wǎng)站上公布10篇左右的優(yōu)秀文書，并在文末配上招生官的精辟點(diǎn)評(píng),。

校報(bào)上還會(huì)非常詳細(xì)地標(biāo)注該文書作者的背景，包括種族,、性別,、標(biāo)化成績(jī),、主要課外活動(dòng)（科研、論文）,、獎(jiǎng)項(xiàng)等各項(xiàng)內(nèi)容,。

20年其中一篇

哈佛大學(xué)的招生官在點(diǎn)評(píng)中經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)的一句是“申請(qǐng)人的文書開頭......”可見,，哈佛大學(xué)的招生官非常注重PS開頭是否能吸引他們繼續(xù)讀下去。

上述文書對(duì)應(yīng)點(diǎn)評(píng)

約翰霍普金斯大學(xué)——獨(dú)到的價(jià)值觀和見解

約翰霍普金斯大學(xué)的本科生招生頁(yè)面中，專門設(shè)置了一個(gè)欄目——Essays That Worked ,，欄目中專門收錄了最近5年的優(yōu)秀文書,，JHU還非常細(xì)心地把這些文書分門別類，制作了目錄,；同時(shí),，這些文書也附帶了招生官的點(diǎn)評(píng)。

2024屆優(yōu)秀文書展示頁(yè)面：

https://apply.jhu.edu/essays-that-worked-2024/

Translating My Story Into Words

My eyes widen. “It’s all Greek to me,” I whisper under my breath. Sure enough, The Apology by Plato is in Greek.

My eyes dart across the page, looking for a word or phrase to grasp onto. Unable to find a familiar word, I take a deep breath. The Greek letters jumble into incoherent words and I am left to the mercy of an incomplete translation. I shake my head, unsure of what to do next. My eyes drag from one word to another, heavy with defeat. Upon the sixth word, however, they stop. My initial scan of the text left me negligent of a simple word meaning “number.” Passion overwhelms my senses. “Number” becomes the most important word of the clause, providing context to the adjacent words. I turn to the lexicon and search for words that fit into a coherent translation. With the last word, I feel satisfaction and pride. The whirlwind of emotions repeats: Confusion, passion, satisfaction. Before the bell rings, I finish translating 20 lines of The Apology.

I was fifteen when I successfully translated The Apology, and soon after, I fell in love with translation. Through translation, I learned the value of perseverance and hard work; it even helped me convey ideas in different mediums such as figure skating.

On a bright January morning, cold wind slapped against my face, chastising me for falling again. I stood up and brushed thin sheets of ice off of my knees. A shock of pain went through my body as I lightly touched a new bruise. I contemplated defeat. In the midst of choreographing my next program, I speculated the translation of music into skating. I yearned to convey every pitch and emotion in a visual performance, so I listened to Chopin once again and closed my eyes. Upon hearing the cadenza, I went back on the ice, picked up speed and turned my body. Leaping from the ground, I wrapped my arms around my torso and spun one, two, three times. My body descended and a sharp skid sounded the air. I smiled, waiting in anticipation for the next jump. That day, I translated every note into a jump until my body understood the music.

Translation has become my frame for viewing life and now I am using it to translate passion into activism.

In July 2018, part of my activism was conservation focused. Recognized as a Discovery Guide Leader, I was chosen to lead a Mugwort removal cleanup at Meadow Lake. The tedious logistical process of scheduling a time, obtaining a permit, and learning the proper removal process made July a strenuous month. Still seeking to translate my plan into action, I persevered with the importance of conservation in mind.

Finally, the day came. Twenty pairs of eyes watched me as I pointed out Mugwort along the shore. The hot sun hit my back as I pushed the shovel deeper in the soil. The ground released its hold on the plant and I picked it up by the stem. I walked throughout the shore and helped each person learn the proper removal technique. Together we were able to eliminate 4.2 pounds of Mugwort. I was proud of everyone and myself. I learned the benefits of conservation, translated that knowledge into a productive plan to remove an invasive species, and spread that knowledge by leading my eager group of volunteers.

Despite translating The Apology by Plato years ago, the lessons I learned from translation continue to thrive in my actions today. Just as I translated texts from Greek to English, I will convert more songs into programs, and I will change more plans into action. Although there are still many things in the world that are all Greek to me, I strive to learn and translate my knowledge into action that creates change.

對(duì)應(yīng)文書點(diǎn)評(píng)：

JHU其中一篇優(yōu)秀文書點(diǎn)評(píng)

JHU的文書以及點(diǎn)評(píng)相較于哈佛就非常輕松，招生官們?cè)邳c(diǎn)評(píng)中會(huì)更著重點(diǎn)評(píng)申請(qǐng)人的創(chuàng)新能力,、接受到的獨(dú)到的價(jià)值觀和見解,、個(gè)人興趣的發(fā)展。

埃默里大學(xué)——冒險(xiǎn)精神&好奇心

埃默里大學(xué)每年8月,，會(huì)在自己的招生博客Inside Emory Admission上分享5——6篇他們認(rèn)為很有價(jià)值的申請(qǐng)文書,，附帶點(diǎn)評(píng)。

“D’oh!”
-Homer Simpson

I’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.

“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.

The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.

Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.

Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”“D’oh!”
-Homer SimpsonI’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”

對(duì)應(yīng)點(diǎn)評(píng)：

埃默里大學(xué)優(yōu)秀文書展示頁(yè)面：https://blog.emoryadmission.com/?s=personal+statement

埃默里大學(xué)的招生官非常強(qiáng)調(diào)個(gè)人是否具有冒險(xiǎn)精神和強(qiáng)烈的好奇心。

PS和SOP的區(qū)別

首先,，我們需要區(qū)分PS和SOP的區(qū)別：Personal Statement （個(gè)人陳述）,，簡(jiǎn)稱PS；Statement of Purpose（動(dòng)機(jī)函）,，簡(jiǎn)稱SOP,。

在申請(qǐng)過(guò)程中，很多中介機(jī)構(gòu)大多數(shù)情況下會(huì)將兩者混為一談,。

其實(shí),，這兩者可以理解為兩種不同風(fēng)格的文書，PS更注重申請(qǐng)人的個(gè)性化,，比如成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷,、興趣愛好,，家庭情況，特長(zhǎng)等,；SOP中文可以翻譯成目的函,，突出申請(qǐng)人的學(xué)術(shù)能力。

以加州大學(xué)洛杉磯分校對(duì)SOP的要求：

首先,，加州大學(xué)洛杉磯分校的SOP,，不同專業(yè)有不同的字?jǐn)?shù)要求，并且,，學(xué)校官方還給出了非常規(guī)范的SOP書寫模板,。

◆ 你學(xué)習(xí)的目的是什么？

◆ 你為了學(xué)習(xí)該門課程都做了哪些準(zhǔn)備,？學(xué)到了哪些技能,？最終得到了什么非常具體的結(jié)果？你在該領(lǐng)域有什么潛力,？

◆ 有沒有什么額外補(bǔ)充的信息能證明你具備完成該課程的能力,？

◆ 為什么你認(rèn)為UCLA的這門課程是你的最佳選擇？

◆ 獲得這個(gè)學(xué)位后,，你的職業(yè)規(guī)劃是什么,？

而對(duì)PS的要求,，加州大學(xué)是這樣描述的：

■ 首先對(duì)于PS的文書長(zhǎng)度限制在500字以內(nèi)，使用1英寸邊框和12磅字體,。

■ 你曾經(jīng)接受的教育,、文化、經(jīng)濟(jì)或者社會(huì)經(jīng)歷,，有沒有哪些是能夠讓你在未來(lái)的領(lǐng)域中更加獨(dú)特,？

■ 在成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中有沒有什么遇到過(guò)什么挫折,？你是如何克服的,？讓你堅(jiān)持下去的動(dòng)力是什么？......

對(duì)比之下，PS的發(fā)揮空間明顯更靈活,，更加注重個(gè)人的個(gè)性化展示,；有的學(xué)校為了篩選出心儀的候選人，還會(huì)出特定的話題,，要求申請(qǐng)人圍繞特定的話題展開分享一段的見解,。

有的學(xué)校只要求學(xué)生提交其中一個(gè),，但有的學(xué)校則要求兩個(gè)都提交。

SOP在撰寫過(guò)程中的技巧就是套用官網(wǎng)的要求模板,，按照學(xué)校的提問(wèn)逐一回答,。

關(guān)于PS的技巧，每所學(xué)校都說(shuō)是為了展示學(xué)生的個(gè)性,，那不同的院校會(huì)更傾向于招生什么樣個(gè)人特質(zhì)的申請(qǐng)人呢,？投遞材料前，做好攻略必不可缺,！

雖然文書的主要內(nèi)容是考察申請(qǐng)人的特質(zhì),，但不同的院校偏好不同個(gè)性的申請(qǐng)人，“投其所好”,，就能利用文書中的內(nèi)容,，補(bǔ)齊自己在標(biāo)化成績(jī)的短板。

優(yōu)弗教育首次獨(dú)家采用“雙團(tuán)隊(duì)”導(dǎo)師模式-“DoubleTeam”,。團(tuán)隊(duì)一：由兩位主導(dǎo)師組成為“首席專家顧問(wèn)團(tuán)隊(duì)”,。團(tuán)隊(duì)二：由三位導(dǎo)師組成為“規(guī)劃執(zhí)行團(tuán)隊(duì)”。在優(yōu)弗獨(dú)具特色的“雙團(tuán)隊(duì)”指導(dǎo)下,，具備專業(yè)性,，聯(lián)動(dòng)性以及高執(zhí)行力這三大特點(diǎn)，讓整體規(guī)劃突破傳統(tǒng)留學(xué)導(dǎo)師架構(gòu),，真正突顯每一位導(dǎo)師在學(xué)生身上可發(fā)展力,，可塑造力，從而將服務(wù)做實(shí),，做精,，做細(xì)！??！